Friday, April 29, 2005

Thankfully I am an undiscovered techno wiz -- among other things

... and there's always a way around the blogger malfunctions. Back doors if you will. bwahaha, I'm so damn sneaky.

Anyway, funny things I've learned about spending too much time on one's own:

- you may lose all social graces and become one of those obnoxious people who always interrupt others in class (you know the ones, they always look unwashed)
- the afore-mentioned occurence may only be paranoia produced of your own conversation deprived brain
- day time t.v. is a lousy companion -- I will never, ever be a housewife (but yeah, that went without saying)
- you may become obsessed by the nature of your constant isolation and write incessant journal entries to that effect.

Moving on...

Yesterday I watched A Very Long Engagement. Had myself a good emotional draining, and some shellshock to boot. It was awesome, I command you all to go see it if you haven't. I then drank coffee too late at night, got way too hyper, and rode my bike down hill in the dark saying "wheee!" softly to myself so as not to disturb the birds.

I have all these good things written down and keep forgetting to bring them in with me to post.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Ever have one of those days when you wish sometimes you would just shut the hell up?

Just wondering

bad day yesterday, good day today. Apparently, despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm not a half bad poet. Hurrah! Anthologies here I come.

Today officially marks the start of the essay marathon extraordinaire.
I SWEAR I'm gonna do some work on the first one tonight.
I'm just gonna eat, go to the gym, and watch Medium first. Then I'll do it. Probably.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Notes to self

1. You are not good at living by yourself
2. Watching horror movies right before bed while alone not a good idea

Thursday, April 21, 2005

All Families Are Psychotic

So today I take the first of many solo flights I am to take within the next 3 and a half months. And when I get "home" I will begin the first of 5 weeks of bachelor-ette-hood which will of course involve the compulsory nakedness, dirty dishes, and crap everywhere in the apartment. Sadly I discovered today that my landlords want to show the apartment to some prospective tenants a mere week after I start my life of sloven(liness?), so I'll have to clean up whatever mess I've made and make the apartment all livable again. Crap. Oh well.

My mother started early yesterday evening with her ritual-mother-losing-child-overseas dance, in which she shuffles up to me, wraps her arms around me and warbles, "Are you going to miiiiisss us?"

Yes. yes of course.

My father, in his own particular ritual behaviour, gave me fifty bucks, said, "Okay, gimme a hug," and wished me pleasant travels.

My brother, I think, is just counting down the hours. I don't blame him. I'd be the first to admit that I bug the hell out of him. I find some perverse pleasure in it, and it's useful for getting the heat of my parents' gazes away from me. I will also admit to stockpiling material to use against him. I do this for many people in my life, I don't know, it's a survival tactic I guess. My parents' happen to be mad at me for complaining about having to do the dishes? I come out with, "Yeah? Well at least I don't wash them all in cold water without soap -- LIKE JOSHUA DOES." It really works a treat, and hey, I'm going to hell for much worse things than this, so it can't hurt me anymore than I already am. haha. I have been known to snoop through his stuff to find more ammo. Like the other day when I used his backpack to carry groceries home, I made sure I checked all the pockets before I returned to him. Unfortunately, I haven't used that ammo yet, so I can't divulge what I found in there.

Okay, and I realize that I am a horrible person for doing this, so you don't need to point it out, and all you younger siblings are having conniption fits right now, but all you older siblings, you're sitting back and having a quiet chuckle about the good old days...

And really, I love my brother, plus hey, he gets a 5 week break from me, so that's gotta be buoying him up somewhat right?

See you back in the ACT...

P.S. The title is a Douglas Coupland novel -- good read if you have a chance.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I should also mention...

Go to dooce -->
If you want to read about things which you will never read about here. I laughed and laughed.
And speaking of penises (ohp, you better close your eyes relies, this ain't for you, and were we speaking of them? well if you'd gone to dooce you would know...) apparently the accepted mag-lingo for said anatomy in this part of the world is "doodle."

I'll give you a second to recover...

I want to write them a letter and be like, "Doodle? That's not a penis, that's a snack food. It's a TERRIBLE analogy. What are you gonna do, munch on them?"

I was going to put something in there about satisfying a craving, but I think that's just about enough, especially if the relatives didn't heed the above warning.
Hahaha.

I know, I'm awful and debauched and all that.
But you laughed, YOU LAUGHED. And you can't take THAT back.

Christchurch boogie

Can you really imagine me in a place called Christchurch? I know... I can't say it without giggling. I'm such a f-ing heathen. The whole thing ain't doin' nothing for my language either -- they cuss like really potty-mouthed sailors here.
It's not so eventful, but we ride the buses around, going this place and that, spending half an hour agonizing over wool choices, and not buying anything in the end. I'm knitting my mother a pink sweater. It will do up with a safety pin. I hate button holes.
Today we went to the beach. Yesterday we went grocery shopping. I sprayed my bag with DKNY so it would smell like apples, sang along to the pop classics playing over the loudspeaker, and twirled around in the aisles.

"I thought you might HA-AVE, some advice to give -- on how to be-- I-INSENSITIVE"
"As long as you love me BAAYEEBEEE, OHH OHH OHH"

Obviously I need to get back to work.

I'm so used to sleeping in my noisy high-rise, that sleeping in the tiny darkened room of this absolutely silent bungalow is wrecking havoc with my dreams. Every night since I've been away I have had SUCH VIVID DREAMS. One about a hippo-demon which was chasing me around my parents' bedroom in Guelph. The only way I could get rid of it was to point out how fat its ass looked in their full-length mirror, and insult it into such a frenzy that it poofed. I may or may not have bigger issues than you think.

One more day, two more dream-sessions.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I haven't found Frodo yet... but hell, Elijah's too short for me anyway

Well here I am again with a few glorious days fo at home internet before I head back to the uni computers in Canberra.
Thursday through SUnday were an intensive few days of travelling -- Thursday on a bus to Sydney to see the sights, Friday on a plane to Christchurch, and Saturday and Sunday non-stop driving to experience the amazing scenery of New Zealand's South island.
Sydney was, or rather my rushed one-day general impression of it was, a beautiful city with lots of beautiful people in it, all of whom seemed very posh, metropolitan, and basically way cooler than me. If I had to choose, I might actually go with Melbourne as a place to live. It just seems more chilled out (that is relative to the fact that ALL of Australia is pretty chill).
One thing I will say for Australians, and hell, for Europeans too, they sure do know how to do their public spaces. Every city I've been in so far this year -- Kyiv, Munich, Paris, Melbourne, Sydney (with the exception of the SUPREMELY pedestrian un-friendly Canberra) -- has had some huge, open, green space smack in the middle of the city, and they're WONDERFUL. Why don't Canadian cities do more of that? Coming up soon is my series of animal and flower pictures from the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney -- gorgeous.
Friday we flew in to Christchurch and took off early the next morning in our rental car to drive down the West coast, and then back up again on a different route with a slight detour to check out Mount Cook - the highest peak.
The thing that is really striking is how diverse the scenery is -- you can drive for half an hour and go from subtropic forest, to something like Lake Louise. It's incredible, and not hard to see why the Hollywood film industry keeps returning to the tried and true. New Zealand really does have something to fit every bill.
Sometimes it's easy to imagine dinosaurs jumping out of the foliage, and in some places you imagine Peter Jackson scoping out the scene. It's a lot of fun.

Back to see the wizard on Friday.


see that lake of brownish sludge? yep, that's another glacier, under there somewhere. Posted by Hello


My excellent picture of a kiwi. Josh has titled it: "Dad pacifies the natives." Posted by Hello


See that grotty white and grey thing in the middle there? yeah, that's a glacier. Posted by Hello


There it is... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Suspension of Communications

If you didn't get the big to-everyone e-mail I sent out today, e-mail me (on the side bar --> )
and I'll send you a copy. I'm leaving in the morning to go to Christchurch via Sydney, and may not post till the end of April sometime, depending on when/where I can get access.

Till then...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Just when you thought you might get a holiday...

Isn't it HILARIOUS when you get sick just as you're supposed to go travelling? Who likes having extra sinus pressure during take-off and landing, raise your hands?

Ugh, I'm sniffly, and achy, and disgusting. Last night I slept for 11 hours straight -- the single longest time I've been in bed since coming to Australia.

And I still haven't finished my essay.

However, with my trusty econo-pack of tissues beside me, I am determined to finish it today... or perhaps tomorrow... but definitely by Wednesday.

Argh. This f-ing sucks.

Friday, April 08, 2005

What to do when you're bored in Canberra:

So I was procrastinating (and I do mean in the literal sense, not the proverbial), my brother was bored, and so we took the camera and the skateboard to the parking lot and this is the result. I took a million pictures trying to capture him mid-air, and only got the one really good one. The boy is back on the skate-wagon, trying to get back up to form. Now if only I could get him back into shape... It's hilarious seeing a kid as skinny as he is get flabby -- you wouldn't think it possible, but oh yes, it is.

Next week we're off to New Zealand - me for 1 week, and the rest of them for 6. Yes, that's right, next week I take my last group flight. The rest - Back to Canberra, to Fiji, and home, I'm going alone, since I have to go back to school in May and I'm leaving Canberra 2 weeks earlier than everyone else, and getting back to Canada two weeks after. I'll be so intrepid! ha ha.

Before I leave on Thursday I think I'll send off a mass-email, since it's been a while and I've been lax in that department. Hopefully I'll have this damn film essay done before then.

Cheers


"that's what I'm talking about." Posted by Hello


I reach his shoulder as long as he bends his knees and I can hold on to his neck. Posted by Hello


maybe not such a good skater chick Posted by Hello


skating in sandals... Posted by Hello


almost Posted by Hello


oooh Posted by Hello


will he make it? Posted by Hello

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Argh Argh Argh Stop Kissing That Girl

Yet again it is Tuesday and with Tuesday my list of pet peeves EXPLODES into something resembling a certain Milton poem we all know and hate.
Pet peeves of the day:

PDA's (public displays of affection) -- BECAUSE you don't have to be all up in my face about it. You are alone SO ALONE, bwahahahahahaaa. Plus do you ever notice that the people who do it the most are the ones who are the most unattractive, so it's like they're so happy they've found anything at all that they have to BROADCAST IT TO THE ENTIRE WORLD? Forgive me, it is Tuesday and I know not what I write.

Cell phones -- I have nearly been mown down THREE TIMES today by small women trying to motor to class and SMS at the same time. I would like to crush them and their cellphones under my size 10's. I'm bigger than you. So there.

Australian Men's hair -- I don't understand it - the combo faux-hawk/duck-tail with both extremities bleached blond in random patches. IT LOOKS HORRIBLE, and ruins any chance they ever had of attracting the least bit of attention from normal, sane, SIGHTED individuals, other than attention of the confused and repulsed variety.

Okay, I think that covers the big ones today, and at least gets them off my chest. I'm so hungry right now, and unwilling to pay exhorbitant cafeteria prices, and too stupid to get dressed faster and bring food with me (or make it the night before, as so helpfully suggested). I just want to unwind from the stupid Psych tutorial, unfortunately I have another lecture before I can get home, get food, and hit the gym to work out my angerrrrrr...

Later

Monday, April 04, 2005

Oh period, how I hate you

I don't want to feel like this -- all hormonal and bitchy.
I tried to cheer myself up this morning by doing some pilates and taking a very long shower (and a very big dose of B6), and then wearing my sports jacket with the sleeves rolled up. Heh heh heh. Yep, as I thought, still amusing, although not quite doing the trick.
Just watched "The Body," whose only redeeming feature was Jason Flemyng in open-necked shirts playing a very unconvincing priest (mostly because, well, I mean, what a waste). Oh celibacy...
Anyway, just a short post to say... I don't know... to let you all know in general that I'm still alive and kicking. And skipping lunch... ah Chifley, once again you know the rumblings of my tummy. Right, home then, and to eat.

Cheers

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

So my bro's in Brisbane... by himself. And we haven't heard from him since Tuesday. So you know, if he'd been missing since just after he sent us the e-mail, we wouldn't notice until he fails to show up on Monday night. He could've been in trouble for a WEEK, and we wouldn't know. The moral of the story children? If you're travelling alone LET PEOPLE KNOW HOW YOU'RE DOING ONCE IN A WHILE SO THEY CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT MOTHER F***ER!
I swear, the rest of the cousins on both sides of my family seem to be completely sane, posessed of common sense (well... some anyway), and generally stable individuals. I myself am a pretty rational human being 28 days out of the month... but it all just seemed to skip the little brother. I SWEAR I never dropped him on his head. And although I may have forced him into a dress once or twice during his childhood, I'm certain there was no lasting psychological damage. So what gives? When do boys get over that "I'm invincible" teenage stupidity stage (it certainly seems MUCH later than girls)? Is he going to have to almost die to snap out of it? Because I don't think I could deal with him almost dying.
Joshua Michael Durnin Hoy, if you're reading this, call your mother. Please. She's starting to look murderous everytime the phone rings and I make a "Better pick it up he only gets one phone call" joke.

Moving on. This morning I wrote my first Australian Exam. Turns out you have to stay in your seat and stick up your hand so they can come collect your paper, instead of just getting up and handing it to them on your way out the door. Who knew? They also have a 15 minute "study period" which doesn't involve actual studying, but just means you get to read the exam questions, but not write anything on the answer sheet. Which is stupid, because once the study period is over you have to go back and waste time bubbling in all the questions you've already answered. Honestly, just say the exam is two hours long. I understand that they want to encourage people to read the exam first or whatever, but really, we're not 15 years old. They really treat students like idiots here... to be frank I really miss the independence of being at school in Canada. Even when I was a little kid I hated having my hand held. I CAN DO IT MYSELF THANK YOU.

Anyway, this has been quite complain-y. Much in the vein of my usual attitude. But hey, haven't lost that good mood! I think I should clarify the weird Johnny picture, just in case there's a bunch of people going "Huh? what?" That's JHR's hot ass in the background, which is the motivation for the demented look on the guy's face (she has that speechless-rendering effect). Although I think I recognize that shirt she's wearing as something we picked up at value village to go mini golfing in when we were 16 for a friend's b-day? Way to work the wardrobe J baby, that's my girl!

Oh, and you should all also know that Av is the greatest man alive.

That's it!