All Families Are Psychotic

So today I take the first of many solo flights I am to take within the next 3 and a half months. And when I get "home" I will begin the first of 5 weeks of bachelor-ette-hood which will of course involve the compulsory nakedness, dirty dishes, and crap everywhere in the apartment. Sadly I discovered today that my landlords want to show the apartment to some prospective tenants a mere week after I start my life of sloven(liness?), so I'll have to clean up whatever mess I've made and make the apartment all livable again. Crap. Oh well.

My mother started early yesterday evening with her ritual-mother-losing-child-overseas dance, in which she shuffles up to me, wraps her arms around me and warbles, "Are you going to miiiiisss us?"

Yes. yes of course.

My father, in his own particular ritual behaviour, gave me fifty bucks, said, "Okay, gimme a hug," and wished me pleasant travels.

My brother, I think, is just counting down the hours. I don't blame him. I'd be the first to admit that I bug the hell out of him. I find some perverse pleasure in it, and it's useful for getting the heat of my parents' gazes away from me. I will also admit to stockpiling material to use against him. I do this for many people in my life, I don't know, it's a survival tactic I guess. My parents' happen to be mad at me for complaining about having to do the dishes? I come out with, "Yeah? Well at least I don't wash them all in cold water without soap -- LIKE JOSHUA DOES." It really works a treat, and hey, I'm going to hell for much worse things than this, so it can't hurt me anymore than I already am. haha. I have been known to snoop through his stuff to find more ammo. Like the other day when I used his backpack to carry groceries home, I made sure I checked all the pockets before I returned to him. Unfortunately, I haven't used that ammo yet, so I can't divulge what I found in there.

Okay, and I realize that I am a horrible person for doing this, so you don't need to point it out, and all you younger siblings are having conniption fits right now, but all you older siblings, you're sitting back and having a quiet chuckle about the good old days...

And really, I love my brother, plus hey, he gets a 5 week break from me, so that's gotta be buoying him up somewhat right?

See you back in the ACT...

P.S. The title is a Douglas Coupland novel -- good read if you have a chance.