I should also mention...

Go to dooce -->
If you want to read about things which you will never read about here. I laughed and laughed.
And speaking of penises (ohp, you better close your eyes relies, this ain't for you, and were we speaking of them? well if you'd gone to dooce you would know...) apparently the accepted mag-lingo for said anatomy in this part of the world is "doodle."

I'll give you a second to recover...

I want to write them a letter and be like, "Doodle? That's not a penis, that's a snack food. It's a TERRIBLE analogy. What are you gonna do, munch on them?"

I was going to put something in there about satisfying a craving, but I think that's just about enough, especially if the relatives didn't heed the above warning.
Hahaha.

I know, I'm awful and debauched and all that.
But you laughed, YOU LAUGHED. And you can't take THAT back.