Um, hi, hello, excuse me?

It's snowing right now. Snowing. Giant, fluffy, golf-ball-sized snowflakes, snowing. In Vancouver, British Columbia, snowing, on the 28th of March. My hibisicus is wilting before my eyes, shrinking back into itself in utter horror.

Yesterday, the sky hurled hail the size of peas at us for a while.

The day before that the hail was the size of marbles, and exploded when it hit the pavement.

There was thunder. There's never any thunder here.

I'm sorry, but I have no choice but to send you all here.