Tuesday, June 27, 2006

database-dataface

Archive entries completed, as of now: 1004
(Blog entries completed as of now: 476)
Thing I most want to know right now: Who decided this whole working for a living thing was a good idea?
Thing I'm most deliberating right now: To edit or not to edit? More screen staring?
My eyes hurt.

Considering a change

Would this work?

Monday, June 26, 2006

In light of having formed our very own themed organization

Who knew it was actually real?

Crazy Yale students.

I've been thinking lately that perhaps we, of the group which will henceforth be known as the SXPC, should write a manifesto -- considering that our objective has less to do with our title and more with tequila and the designing of t-shirts.

Actually:

"Tequila and the designing of t-shirts"

Does that sound good? If not a manifesto, it could be a damn good way to spend a weeknight.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sign Behind Night Owl's Counter Which I Never Noticed Before:

If you're grumpy, grouchy, or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you.

I'd say that alone was a good enough reason for my patronage.

Movie I took a chance on today.

Friday, June 23, 2006

My Plan:

G. Bus Station, ETA 9:09 pm.

And then I'm going to sleep FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

OMG.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Today Many Things Made Me Happy

And this was one of them.

Onion rings were another.

Songs of the Day (that's right, I'm having TWO): Sparkle Me ~ The Buffseeds & All I Want ~ Joni Mitchell

Sympathy Card Etiquette - it should be taught at school

I went out today to find a sympathy card for an aquaintance who just lost her father. I wasn't sure whether or not to send one, seeing as I haven't seen or spoken to her since high school, but I resolved that, putting aside what was socially correct, it felt right to me to do so.

It was a new experience for me, and can I just express my utter disgust with the whole business of sympathy card making? You want to get creative with Birthday cards and over-the-hill jokes? Fine. But when it comes to sympathy - the vaguer the better.

The thing about sympathy, unlike birthdays, is you can't really make the card yourself. It isn't thoughtful in the way that making a b-day card is thougtful. It's just cheap -- unless of course you're one of those scrapbooking crazies (actually I shouldn't knock them, I completely plan on becoming one later in life). So you have to buy one, you have to ponderously look through everything that Shopper's Drug Mart has on offer, and pick the one that doesn't make you sound like a complete knob. Like maybe, despite the retard who wrote these words for me, I actually am sorry to hear about your loss. It's a rather frustrating exercise.
These things are horrendous. They start out okay, the blanket "In Deepest Sympathy" opener... but then they get DEEPLY smarmy, or worse, they get utterly condescending, and then some... and I really couldn't believe this when I read it... some of them.... RHYME.
I didn't have a pen handy but dear god it went something like this:

At the loss of one so dear
It helps to know
Caring thoughts are near

Although at times it's hard to bear
Dear friend blah-de-blah
You're in my prayers.


Rhyming sympathy? Rhyming is contrived, which makes the sympathy sound contrived, and isn't that what you're trying to avoid? Come on people. Sympathy requires, you know, tact?
Don't even get me started on the religious aspect.
So I stood there, madly rifling through the cards, sure that there was one that I'd missed. One that didn't have an embossed lily, or an ANGEL, or a grassy field; one that didn't use the words love, prayers, memories, soul, or comfort; one that just said "In Deepest Sympathy" and then SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Alas, such a one does not exist. However, should I ever be in a situation to receive such cards, I hope that I remember this, and realize that the people who sent them, no matter how crappy their luck in card lingo, really do care.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

e-motion

I've been dealing with the messages we get from the department website. Mostly enquiries about the program. Everytime I get one, I have to smile at the, what shall I call them... petitioners? That makes it sound vaguely religious. I smile at the petitioners' wording. Their language is strung together with the exertions of composing it. If they are Canadian and in high school they sound so innocent, hopeful, and anxious. They word it as though this request for further information were already a university application, an interview. As though I, a 4th year summer student screening their messages, have the final word on their entry into this institution. It's just the sweetest thing.
If they are international, I imagine how long it must have taken them to craft their grammatically confused questions, and feel that in my response I must in some way reward them, applaud their efforts.
I'm surprised how much it touches me.
It makes me think of how important the present seems, until it's past.
And of human fragility.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

A Letter to Mr. Universe

(not to be confused of course with Arnold, or Steve Reeves, and their successors)

Dear Mr. Universe,

What's up?

I realize that by calling you Mr., I'm gendering you, and inferring certain traits as a result. Please don't think this is unintentional, but feel free to take that as you will. At the moment, you feel like a guy, so for now a Mr. you shall be.

Anyway, you and I have been having a lot of fun lately, eh? Or rather, you've been having a lot of fun, and I'm on the receiving end.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the attention. As an after effect of my pagan days I'm a total believer in the threefold rule, and since my behaviour lately has been NOTHING if not virtuous to a fucking fault, I figure that by putting up with all this bullshit, and still projecting what I was told yesterday is a very calm and together exterior (although the reality is anything but), that I'm in for some BIG FUCK OFF KARMIC REWARDS somewhere (soon?) down the line. I will hold you to this, so make a note in your rolodex:

"From the Desk of Mr. Universe~ Note to self: Don't forget ARDH re- BIG FUCK OFF REWARDS, notify Karma Department ASAP."
(yes, not only male but also a yuppie - I wonder where this comes from?)

However, it's getting to the point where I can't even laugh about it anymore. There was a point last week when I was walking around expecting some vertically challenged stage performer to tumble out from behind a door, or a hedge, or a manhole, point up at me and start guffawing. At that happy moment I would realize that this has all been a big joke, everyone was in on it, and we can now all commence the drinking and watch the playback reels (it was videotaped of course). We'll pause the tape and people will slap me on the back (more guffawing) and say "MAN! did you ever look stupid! And bummed!" And I'll laugh and be like "Yeah! I did look bummed! Because I was!" And cringe internally... the joke's on me... but at least it would be over.

Now, the joke on me-- well it's just not that funny anymore. I'm past the point where I can watch in awe at everything piling up one thing on top of the other and get a chuckle out of how utterly pathetic I've felt lately. There shall be no more, "You won't BELIEVE what's happened now..." statements; no more "Hey, so guess what? THEN my backpack ended up full of sweet and sour sauce!"; no more "So they fucked up my pay this week and - no, not more money - actually HALF of what I'm supposed to get, jeez, eh?"; no more "Apparently VISA will issue a fucking credit card to everyone on the planet EXCEPT ME! Weird, HUH?" (and believe me, Mr. Universe, the irony of the fact that it was CIBC that rejected me has not been lost - there, I said it - but I understand that the temptation was probably just too great for you, I should have gone with TD, damn the interest rates).

So I guess what I'm getting to here is that any time you feel like throwing me a goddamned bone, I'll be sitting over here wagging my tail half-heartedly, and waiting whole-heartedly to catch it. In short: You win, I salute you, kowtow and all that fun stuff. I GIVE.

UNCLE.

Yours always in gravest sincerity,

ARDH

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Did someone just forget to mention it?

This morning, at about 4:30 (my other housemate says 4:24 exactly), when my speedfreak caffeine-addict neighbour decided I'd had a good enough night's sleep, I lay in bed wondering for the first time in my life if maybe I'd actually died and was living in hell.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Song of the Day

20,000 Seconds ~ K's Choice

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Making Myself Feel Better

fb3(1)

fb11

fb10

fb4(2)

fb9

fb1

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Friday, June 09, 2006

For a song and a movie

Realized last night that it's not just the neighbour's fault - this is well and truly full on insomnia. I never really appreciated before how horrible it is to be so tired and dying to sleep and not being able to do so.

I have 2 'of the days' today. My first Song of the Day dedication, and my second ever Movie of the Day.

First, the Movie of the Day is Junebug. It's confusing, and disturbing, and beautiful, like all good things in life.

And the very first Song of the Day dedication goes out to JHR:
Don't Ever Think Too Much ~ The Zutons

Although that good advice probably goes for everyone...
Haha.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Zzz

I have been so tired this week it's ridiculous. Yesterday I forwent the caffeine on the way into work, but then caved at 11:30, stuck a sign on the office door that said "Back in 5 min." and ran to MC to rectify the situation.
Halfway after lunch however the coffee just didn't seem to be pulling its weight. I looked at my little sign "Back in 5 min." and found myself seriously considering sticking it to my forehead for the rest of the day.
Today I just came home and went straight to bed.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Can I just say?

I am IN LOVE...

with Simon Baker

and yes, I have been watching romantic comedies, EVENTHOUGH
-- eventhough they make me feel like stabbing myself in the leg with a knitting needle.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Hi, sorry, could you direct me to the meat section?

I have been exhausted today by my exertions this weekend, and my neighbour’s rather interesting definition of a good night’s sleep -- specifically what constitutes the appropriate length of said sleep. I know that my defined 10 hours is deemed a bit excessive by SOME, but 5 is still a TEENSY bit under the mark...
Nevertheless, although I ended up declining the hockey game invitation (I mean, who are we kidding here? Everyone knows I would have been asleep on the couch regardless of any prior deprivation), I dragged my sorry ass to the grocery store.
I had made myself a promise, in the interest of my bank account, that I would no longer patronize the A&P in downtown Kingston, because of it’s blatant price gouging. However, I was tired, craving juice, and well, it’s just a block away.
So, wearing my flip flops and my grandfather’s sweater, I trudged to the grocery store and walked around with my basket. Standing in the checkout line, I looked at my purchases - salad, milk, bananas, tortillas, conditioner, juice, I suddenly had a horrifying vision of myself as that sad single woman with her hair slapped up, and her big sunglasses, forced out to the grocery store because the last hard chunk of cheese in the fridge has finally surrendered to the mould.
Not that I was measuring up the guy in front of me as a possible life mate (of course, one does do SOME measuring -- I am human after all), but I suddenly understood the whole grocery store meeting place cliche -- because maybe food shopping is the only thing that can drag you out during the week when you’re working 9 - 5, and maybe there’s the men alongside the produce and your blood sugar is just REALLY REALLY LOW -- and it made me feel very old, and very single, and very shitty.
But then I was out in the parking lot, and I remembered the one and only time I’ve ever been hit on in a grocery store. It was just about the most hilarious thing ever, because not only was it a really lame attempt at a come on I WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO MY MOM. Granted it was France, and French men can make just about anything sexy -- or I should say rather that they can FIND just about anything sexy, but still. It was almost impressive it was so bad.
Anyway, I thought about this as I walked through the parking lot, and by the time I reached the street I felt better. I’m not that sad. Not yet anyway. Me? I can still make myself laugh outloud by the power of my thoughts alone. What you got?

I’m definitely going to Food Basics next time.

Song of the Day: It's beginning to get to me ~ Snow Patrol

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Restoratives (Excesses)

- coolers, martinis, yards (of beer)
- more food than I have eaten in an entire week put together (I may never have to eat again -- probably SHOULDN'T ever eat again)
- bars full of nice "Ottowa-inian" boys and vicarious excitement of dating possibilities for my best friend who so so deserves it all.
- hours of deep-life-type discussion
- neat little clean bachelorette pad -- the perfect getaway from my ghetto horror story
- henna in proliferate amounts
- a mini stuffed cow with killer dance moves (oh how I wish I could show you the video)
- crazy stories from downtown Ottawa on a Saturday night including:
*the guy who yelled at us out his car window "Hey are you guys lesbians?" when we were walking home from the bar holding hands, and then promptly got pulled over by the cops
*the guy pushing his wingwoman toward me saying "talk to that girl for me, be my avatar, BE MY AVATAR"
*the guy who insisted I chose between the former and himself, putting his arm around my waist saying "Hey I'm the white version of him, who's it gonna be?"... What?
*JHR's rescue of me, after coming back from her own thing to find me being manhandled by these idiots.
*the best card tricks I've seen in a zehr long time.

This is my favourite photo after the dancing cow vid of course.
At some point last night JHR commented, "Look at you, smiling away." and I said: "I'm being happy. I'm just enjoying being happy."

Hello my life, how I've missed you.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Cheers

Here's to:

Getting OUT of Kingston for the weekend. Fulfilling the need to be away from the familiar.

Berry and Cranberry/Lemon coolers.

Best friends who take one in hand.