Tuesday, February 24, 2004

The Fake Homeless Lady

So let me tell you the story of the fake homeless lady...

Yes, we've heard about them in the news, and it furthers our distrust of some of the poor but honest homeless that we see everyday. Sadly, the fake-homeless accusations are not unfounded. Indeed, they can be found here in dear downtown Kingston (shocked? I thought not). First, let me tell you the story of my run ins with the fake (and blatantly, unconcernedly sloppy fake) homeless lady, and then let me tell you why it burns me so much.

I had often noticed her, standing outside of my beloved Sleepless Goat, heckling the passers-by for change. She is aggressive and abusive, sarcastic when you look away. . . it's just insult to injury that she's so annoying. She always looks scruffy, but always has a change of clothes, no blankets for the nights, no other tell tale amenities of any kind. In winter she has warm coats, in summer she wears flipflops. She gets her hair cut. Obviously already she has somewhere to go. But still she stands there, panhandling constantly, and the Sleepless Goat co-op hippies are too good to their fellow human being to tell her to get lost. She says something nasty to me everytime I see her. . . I think that this is because she and I both know that she doesn't fool me, that I see through her scam, and am disgusted by it.
On Easter Sunday last year, my two friends and I are walking on the street towards the Goat. She is there and has traded her spring jacket for a sweater. She is yelling a conversation across the street to the man who busks with his guitar on the opposite corner.
"It's those damn Arabs!" she yells. "They're cheap! Like the Jews!"
She finishes yelling this as we pass, and quickly solicits us:
"Spare any change?"
We pass by without comment.
"Happy Easter!" she yells, with a not-undetectable (yes yes, double-negative, but I like it) amount of sarcasm.
In a snap I look back over my shoulder and yell at her:
"I'm Jewish!"

Here, I must admit, I am not Jewish . . . I don't know if a Jewish person walking along would have done the same thing, but it occurs to me that they would. In any case, I was offended, and the opportunity to put her in her place so succinctly was irresistible. Perhaps, I thought, in future she would be more thoughtful when scamming people out of the money of more deserving homeless.

So.. that was the first thing. The second incident occured a week and a half ago, on Friday night. I had been in the Sleepless Goat for 3 hours or so. Fake homeless Lady was there, in a full-body snowsuit against the wind. Occasionally she would come in to refill her coffee cup. On one such instance, as she was stirring in her cream, a phone rang. Looking up, I saw Fake Homeless lady pull a CELL PHONE out of her pocket and have a brief conversation on it... I ask you!
Later, when my boyfriend came to meet me at the Goat (I of course told him of the cell phone), we ignored FHL as we left the door. As we turned our backs, and it was obvious we were not going to look at her, she said loudly:
"No, don't mind me, I'm just cold, that's why I'm shaking out here."
And my bf, true to my cynical heart, muttered: "Why don't you call someone on your cell phone and complain about it."

Heh heh.

My dad once gave money to her. My father is a sweetheart, and gives money to most homeless people he passes. I had already told him the story, and watched in horror as we left the SG after breakfast, and he was stopped by the FHL and gave her his change.
"Dad!" I hissed. "Why did you give her money?? That's the woman I was telling you about."
"Really? Oops."

Not only do I feel that this is cheating the givers (enablers, thank you San Francisco) out of their money, I think it's taking money away from the many homeless people who actually need it. Also, when you go around talking on your cell phone before you start panhandling, it instigates a general mistrust of the motives of homeless people and further negates any proceeds they might recieve from their efforts.
Come on lady, I don't own a cell phone, why the hell should I fund yours?

Thank you and good night.
(oh, and if you're passing by the Sleepless Goat on Princess St. in Kingston Ontario, do not give the short blonde woman any money)

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Today is my day

I have an essay rewrite, a short film, and several other responsibilities weighing on my mind.
So what am I doing today? I am downloading sex and the city season 6, I am listening to DNTO on CBC to hear Hawksley sing to me, here alone in my little apartment. My roommate is still away, my boyfriend is snowboarding somewhere in Quebec. I shall do laundry, eat the rest of my valentine's chocolate (bought for me by my dad, not my boyfriend, go figure), eat fruit sorbet and pizza, and then maybe later I will paint a picture.
When I'm ready, I will turn finally to my essay, and write what my professor has told me to write; I will live up to my film group responsibilities and write a paragraph about the raiders of the lost ark.
But first, I will finish knitting a mitten for the bf, I will clean the bathtub, then light candles and take a bath. I will watch Sex and the City, and fantasize about Prada. And, damn it, I refuse to feel bad about it. I have worked so hard the last month, this week is my week, to hang out on my parents bed and watch the movie network, and this day is my day. To do whatever the fuck I want. I release myself from any guilt. I am responsible to no one but myself for these projects, and myself is tired and lonely. I will indulge, and be happy.

Release yourself and take a day, trust me.

Cheers.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Finally over it...

I'm finally done the nightmare, feeling normal again... as such, I went on a bit of a shopping spree yesterday... 100 bucks later, 2 sweaters, 2 skirts, 1 shirt, and a pair of shoes.... not bad eh? Oh yes, that's 100 bucks CANADIAN. bwaha.
All my dad says is "One suitcase"

I.E. I'm only allowed to take one suitcase with me next year when we leave. How will I do it? I average a pair of shoes every month or so... enh, I'm up to the challenge.
Keep watching in August for cool and innovative suitcase-for-a-year packing tips!

oh, but you should really see the shoes... I've been drooling over them for months, and they were on sale! SOOO cute.
aaaaah, retail therapy, I love it.

cheers