The Most Depressing Post ..so far.. Optional Reading

You know that optional reading for class, that you really should do, but won't be included on the exam? Well if I were conducting a course of me right now, this would be on the optional reading list, and no one would bother.

So stop. Right now.

Is there a saying somewhere that 80% of news is bad? I know there's one that says no news is good news... I'm starting to agree. I might instate a regulation on all e-mails to me "You Shall Not Send Me Any Bad News" But then how boring would the narrative be?
Lately, between Illness, Death, Absence, Regrets, and Internships, I've come to certain further conclusions about life as a whole.
- I'd rather die suddenly at 40, like the good old days, than die lingeringly at 100, as we seem so anxious to do now-a-days. Maybe our life expectancy has been too extended, and maybe we were never meant to live past 60? Maybe that's why there's such a rise in cancer? I mean, I'm 21, and I feel like real life hasn't even started for me yet (I keep phoning, but the Real Life Office is always closed -- they keep similar hours to the International Programs Office at Queen's). But if I'd lived in a different century, my life would be more than half over, and I'd be well on my way to becoming -- well actually, I'd probably already have been burned for a heretic, but that likelihood aside -- maybe I'd be a novelist (well, maybe a poet) already, writing under an assumed (male) name, a habit which would be fondly tolerated by my husband of 5 or 6 years, as long as I popped out enough babies.
- The most tragic thing about life (at least, I think so at this moment, but my opinions change like seasons - which by the way it's f-ing cold for October) is that you must make choices, without any assurance that they will be the right ones. For instance: I would much rather be at home right now, holding the little blonde paw of my dying dog than be in this godforsaken country (it's not actually, it's quite the opposite in fact, but any country can be godforsaken when you don't want to be in it) -- but how could I know when I left that some stranger would be holding her when she got the final shot? Choices are a most extreme form of torture - as are helplessness and regret.

Okay, sorry, I'll try to be happy the next time I get my hands on a computer. I'm going to Odessa on Thursday, so all you filmies expect pictures of me in footsteps of Eisenstein.

cheers?