Dear Mr. Lives Next Door and Suddenly Has A CHICK IN HIS ROOM

Congratulations. Perhaps you have found love. At any rate my speculation to that effect will probably be answered sometime later tonight.
I'm so glad that you've found someone with whom you share similar interests. Someone who will laugh as loudly as you do while you watch the Simpsons, Mitch Hedberg, and, as I write this, Scrubs. Someone who will tolerate the volume at which you watch these things, and play your music. Someone who can hide with you in your room and giggle when I knock on the door (just for the record, I wasn't going to complain about the noise, I just wanted to let you know my room got ripped off). Someone, who is, incredibly, equally as hearing-impaired as you are. The Fates really are... just amazing aren't they? The way they set things up? I often wonder what it would be like to get a chance to have your own say in their operations. At this moment, as I sit here trying to work, and instead listening to a television show which I cannot see -- but which I can certainly visualize, so clear is dialogue coming through the wall -- I know exactly what I would say to them:
"WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"

As ever, irritated and yours,

A.