My Brother --

A: Did you get me anything at the grocery store?
J: No, nothing specifically for you, I tried to get you something interesting, but they had nothing.
A: No yoghurt? (My family and I differ on milk products - I like non-fat, they like nothing-but-fat)
J: No... You're just going to have to eat the fatty yoghurt, and become horribly obese, and die alone, lying in a pool of your own filth, attempting to wash yourself with a rag on a stick.
A: *sob*