Five simple guidelines for entering amateur photo contests

Having recently gained some small experience of amateur photo contest entries I offer the following rules of thumb.

First of all: Let’s define amateur, shall we? Amateur means you can’t be getting paid to take professional photos, in any way shape or form, even if they are of someone’s gaudy wedding dress.
Second of all: Focus. If your photos aren’t in it, they aren’t in the contest either.
Third of all: Everyone and his brother can take huge close up shots of flowers. Get over it.
Fourth of all: Your baby’s naked ass. To you: the cutest thing ever. To everyone else: totally inappropriate.
Fifth of all: Your family vacation photos: not interesting to anyone not belonging to your family.