The Vancouver Bus Chronicles, Volume 1: Issue 3

(TM protests that I should use Roman numerals to mark my vol/iss., but I protest that as we don't wear togas, and I can't count past L, that THIS IS MY BLOG AND SHUT UP! to which my mom will say DON'T YOU TELL TM TO SHUT UP... she always takes his side, so unfair)

I was on a busy bus on my way home today and standing at the very front of the bus was this woman SHOUTING into her cell phone. Can... CAN YOU SPEAK UP?? I'M ACTUALLY ON A BUS RIGHT NOW.
In 10 minutes she received 3 phone calls including a job interview, an internet service provider (or something) and an invite to something going on this evening. This I could here above the music on my headphones - SHE WAS THAT LOUD.
The rest of the bus was silent during this period -- there wasn't really any point trying to carry on your own conversation, all you could do was be a party to hers.
In this sort of situation, normally people just suffer through it. They clear their throats, they look at eachother and commiseratingly roll their eyes. But no one actually SAYS anything. They might think about it, but in the end, what if she's psycho and goes off on you?
Today though, apparently, the bus driver didn't care. Maybe he might even have welcomed it. Maybe in the 10 minutes before he spoke up, he imagined the different scenarios and saw himself at the end of his tether, shouting "You wanna go? Because I have no problem right now with hitting a passenger, a patron, or a girl!" In any case, he had clearly had enough, because to my great delight he turned to her and uttered words which have truly made my entire weekend.

"Quit yelling on the phone."

Now, you have to understand, text cannot do justice to the disgust and annoyance that were infused in this man's tone of voice. Clearly he had taken the 10 minutes just to rehearse it. And can I just say, it came off perfectly. It was one of those embarassed, but jubilant silences when everyone in the vicinity stops dead for a moment to make sure they actually just heard what they think they heard. One of those POW! moments when someone resoundingly and unequivocably gets TOLD.

When I got off the bus I turned to say thank you to the driver just before I stepped down. I hope he knew I wasn't just talking about the ride.