My Imaginary Conversation with Mr. Lives Next Door

(This is what I did in class on Tuesday *shrug*)

Me: Dude, your music is driving me F-ing insane.
Mr. LND: Look, I don't know what you want me to do -- I CAN'T move my computer and it's not my fault my landlord knocked out the insulation.
Me: Yeah like that half-foot of space is going to make this dump a dream-home.
LND: Whatever. Are you done?
Me: Yes. No! Look, if you're not going to be reasonable and turn it down, could you at least lay off the Audioslave? I mean... seriously.
LND: Oh yeah, I'll turn that off to listen to you spin your folky chick music.
Me: Excuse me? I am SO not folky. And can I just say, BRAN VAN 3000?
LND: I was doing a cover for my band! I had to listen to it.
Me: On repeat? Jesus, it made me feel like I was in the twilight zone for transvestites and b-movie actors. And don't even get me STARTED on your "band."
LND: Did you just use sarcastic quote marks?
Me: You BET I did.
LND: What are you trying to say?
Me: Oh nothing. You're OBVIOUSLY the next big thing.
LND: Shut the hell up!
Me: No seriously. Soon Ford Windstars will be coming off the assembly line with t-shirts painted on their sides.
LND: YOU LEAVE THE VAN OUT OF THIS!
Me: Well hey, if you're that sensitive about it, maybe you shouldn't put it on your posters. Just a thought.
LND: I love that van *sniff*
Me: Then why won't you JUST LET IT DIE? Put it out of it's misery for God's sake.
LND: Wha-at?
Me: Dude, the thing needs to be scrapped.
LND: You listen to me, I'm not going to take this shit from some, Buffy-watching, early-rising, emo-bitch.
Me: EMO??
LND: You heard me.
Me: Are you SERIOUS? Man, you need to double check your genres. You are TOTALLY throwing down with that one.
LND: Maybe I am.
(We stare at eachother cautiously for a moment)
Me: Well... at LEAST I don't watch South Park by myself at 3 am.
LND: Oh yeah? Two words: Gilmore Girls.
Me: Sixth season!!
(he pauses)
LND: Okay I'll give you that one.
Me: Damn right.