Dear Mr. Every Man Ever

Just so you know, just for your future reference, women do not give as big of a shit as you think they do. Everything is not as big a deal to them as you think it is. I've been having this conversation with several of my girls lately, and we've all come to a consensus that you do not know this, AND REALLY NEED TO. The only thing that makes it into a big deal is you making a big deal about it because you think that's what we're going to do. And then it just escalates. And everything gets awkward, and out of control and is just... bad. It all just explodes in your face (or not at all, as JHR has so helpfully pointed out -- sorry, inside joke).
I'm really tired of all of this. So much so that I'm getting wreckless on the main blog. My mom and dad may just want to close the browser at this point (Hi guys!). I've been threatening to take the "Easy" (see below) route lately, but V says I'm too young to do that and that I'm only young once (and hey, she's got a reliable inside source to that information, haha oh the InS-Jks are just coming out all over the place, she may kill me later).
ANYWAY -- next time you think you're going to irretrievably traumatize a chick, give her some F-ING CREDIT. We're made of stronger stuff.