Sarcasm is an art form

The headline on today's Toronto Star:
"Nothing is Safe"

Shit, really?

And here I thought it was supposed to be a news-paper.
You know, a tell-us-something-we-don't-know-paper, and not an admire-the-emphasis-and-typeface-with-which-we-can-state-the-obvious-paper.

Thanks guys.

(It's the one thing at which I truly excel.)