Analyze This -- and EVERYTHING

I have been writing essays for a good 5 days straight now, at least it feels that way, eventhough TM and I spent the entirety of yesterday evening on the couch in front of the television, broken up by TM's half-hearted attempts at actually working. I don't even put up the pretense on Monday nights...
Anyway, essays, yes. Essays.
Writing essays always has the same strange effect on me of creating this horrible analytical parasite in my brain whereupon I am unable to sit back and passively absorb anything (it has been pointed out that in this state I am an EXTREMELY annoying person to watch movies with - i.e. "Oh COME ON, that would NEVER HAPPEN") -- an ability which is highly prized in North American society. No, in essay parasite mode I cannot do it, which today resulted in my spending the whole of one presentation (KK's presentation) in my Consumer Culture class writing KK a letter which included this breakdown:

There is a guy sitting in front of me wearing a girl's scarf. I am wondering about the reasons behind said scarf-wearing because I am hoping that he isn't wearing it just because he thinks he is cool. Because he really just isn't. So I have come up with the following as possible scenarios wherein the scarf-wearing could have come about:
a) He obtained the scarf during the course of a flirtation with some girl or other and now won't give it back. He is wearing it to coyly "frustrate" her, and also as a sort of signifier of his involvement with females -- as a sort of "trophy" if you will. "I," it announces to the outside world, "am a haver-of-women, see by this scarf."
b) He is involved with an overly possessive and protective girlfriend, who, upon seeing that he was going to class this morning wearing only a sweatshirt, spontaneously wrapped the scarf around his neck in a strangling grip which says more about the state of their relationship than he is prepared to deal with right now, and so he leaves it on. Also in this case it indicates his involvement with her and so again see above re: trophy.
c) He is secretly gay and is experimenting with out-of-the-closet emblems.

Either way it was a lame scarf, and I suspect, based on my impressions of this guy that it was probably a. But one never really can tell. In any case, the fight goes on, as tonight I start a new essay -- my last in a series of 4 Bollywood response papers. The end to my torture is nigh. I only pray that I can finish it before Thursday as my dad is coming to town to take me to a very fancy restaurant (well actually for a conference but I like to think my part in the whole trip is much more important, heh heh) and I'd hate to cut it short on account of I have to finish an essay due on Friday.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...